In the 2019 British drama This Way Up, there’s a scene where Aisling Bea’s character has penetrative sex and then asks her partner “Ok, can you make me cum now?”
You have no idea how many women would relate to that. For a lot of women, clitoral pleasure is where the magic is at. And while penetrative sex is great and playful, the clit is the new tit.
So much so, that there’s a thing called The Clit Test that measures sex scenes in television and movies by whether they address the woman’s clitoral pleasure in them! Have you asked yourself if you pass The Clit Test in your bedroom? If your answer is No, you’ve likely been subjected to misinformation about this wonderful pleasure organ. Fret not, we’ve got you!
Navigating the clitoris is alluringly simple. All you need is technique, gentleness, some tools for enhanced pleasure, patience, and most importantly
So what is the clitoris?
Simply put– it’s the most sensitive erogenous zone in a woman’s body. Erogenous zones are areas in the body that generate sexual responses to stimuli. The clitoris has nearly 8000 nerve endings!
Most women don’t necessarily orgasm with penetrative sex alone. This is where the clitoris comes in handy (ahem). Stimulating the clitoris can help your partner amplify the pleasure she’s already feeling with you and also speed up her climax. In fact, a study published in 2017 says that most women feel engaging the clit is the most pleasurable part of sex. How about that?
So, the clitoris is pretty damn important in your sex life, sirs.
The search for the clitoris
Before we go into how to pleasure the clitoris, let’s impress your girl with some science, shall we? Despite what you’ve (possibly) heard, finding the clitoris is no Sherlockian adventure.
The clitoral organ has two parts–the glans clitoris (what we commonly refer to as clitoris) and the clitoral body. The glans clitoris is visible, external and located above the urethra in the vulva (yep, the external portion of a woman’s sexual organs is the vulva, not the vagina. Vagina’s what’s inside). The glans clitoris is highly sensitive, soft to touch and does not swell or expand to sexual response.
The clitoral body on the other hand, is the internal part of the clitoris and not accessible by touch. It’s the part that gets stimulated during penetrative sex. It's an expandable tissue.
But what you focus on, mister, is the former.
Treating her right
Because the clitoris is super duper sensitive, you should be gentle and careful when stimulating it. Don’t treat it like the button that’ll just magically pop out an orgasm upon pushing. It’s an organ, not a vending machine. Even worse would be if you decided to play DJ, rubbing it up and down.
Moreover, excessive use of force on the clitoris can cause bruising, swelling, and sometimes even bleeding. It’s a non-expandable organ, remember?
But if you’re serious about getting this right for your girl, here’s how you do it:
- Stimulate the clit with gentle, measured strokes. Use your fingers or in case of oral sex, tongue, to rub it up and down or using circular motions.
- Maximize your efforts by also using the entire clitoral hood, not just the clitoris. The clitoral hood also has many nerve endings.
- Take your time. Don’t go at it like your head is on fire or that you have to prove how good you are. Alternate between going slow and speeding up, depending on what your partner likes.
- Communicate. Wanna know if your partner likes your movements? Ask her. You won’t believe the number of times men could’ve avoided guessing if women are feeling good by simply asking us.
- Use pleasure-positive language. Instead of saying “Are you there yet?” or “Are you close?”, ask her “Do you like this?”/ “Does this feel good?”/ “Are you having fun?” You don’t want her to feel like her pleasure is just a task on your to-do list.
- Lubricate and enhance, baby: Lubrication is key for women. Because the clitoris tends to get dry pretty soon, it needs the extra help. And no, your saliva won’t cut it since saliva dries up faster than water.
Here’s a simple solution for this: Skore’s Oh Pleasure Gel. It’s made to enhance and extend clitoral pleasure by providing lubrication and stimulation. It’s super easy to use. Just a tiny amount applied over the clitoris will help you get your partner going in the right direction.
You generally wanna invest in water-based sex enhacement products over oil-based ones for women since they’re easier to clean, don’t leave stains and have lesser chances of irritating the clit. Skore’s Oh Pleasure Gel ticks all these boxes. Just click here to add to cart and you’ll get it delivered to your address in discreet packaging.
It’s about that base, no treble
Getting Skore’s Oh Pleasure Gel and other lubricating and pleasure enhancement products will go a long way in adding more punch to your sex life. Using them does not mean that you’re inadequate in any way. It shows a woman that not only do you care about her pleasure, but are also secure in your masculinity.
Remember, sex is not where the meat’s at– it’s pleasure! No woman likes goal-oriented sexy times. Have fun, invest in pleasure over orgasm. The good things always follow. When you find yourself under the blanket of pleasure, the umbrella of intimacy opens up to show you all the different ways in which you and your partner could feel good.
If there’s anything the existence of the clitoris tells you, it’s that some clichés are true. The journey of pleasure is far more joyous than the destination– whatever that may be for you.